I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
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