Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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