i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
