So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
