The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
