Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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