I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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