Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize