No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
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