hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
They took my balls.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
