I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
