You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Randomize
