When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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