Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
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We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
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also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.