Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.