she was so not down for the gang bang
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?