how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.