thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.