so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Randomize
