Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
Randomize
