You smell like stripper and shame
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
I wish i was in the wii world.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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