Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
