I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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