I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
