I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
We have started to decorate penises.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
