I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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