remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
