and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
