can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
At least life still wants to fuck me.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
