A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Randomize
