I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
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All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
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I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
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