the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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