we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize