The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
he shaved USA in his pubs
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
Randomize
