forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
