normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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