Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
