y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You know, be my cock's hype man.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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