sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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