U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Randomize
