we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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