This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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