:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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