with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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