Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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