it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
