does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
