"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
