What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
