If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Church boner. Awkwardddd
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Dick very happy bro
ok first of all what the fuck
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