1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
