You don't have asthma, your pregnant
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize