Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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