i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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