matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Randomize
