Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
