While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
