i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Enjoy the penises
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
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