I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
