Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
