i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
