I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
do herpes really smell.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize