I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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