yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I queefed so loud it echoed.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
